Sometimes I hate being the way that I am. My family used to get so mad because I "don't look at the world realistically." Just because I see and "openly acknowledge" (translation: am a loud-mouthed-bitch about) the way we all should be and am angered, saddened, and disgusted by the way we actually are, doesn't mean that I don't see what is. Just because I can make choices that are truly distasteful, that sear the very core of my soul, and continue to get by on a day-to-day basis, doesn't mean that I am sub-human. Just because I don't believe that the current Democratic system can continue in the way that it has, doesn't mean that I am anti-the-country-that-I-love and anti-freedom. Just pragmatic, idealistic, and future-forward. All human ideals fall. In the end. There is not a damn thing that lasts forever. No ideal, no belief, no politics or form of government, no life is forever. The harder we all fight that fact, the more we prove just how unevolved we really are.


I really am just, ultimately, realistic - without trying to hold "my people" to be better than we are. I know how the world is, how people are, how I am, and I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit it; We ALL Naaaaaaaasty Pricks. Getting pissy about the truth doesn't change it. I don't subtract myself from the equation. Oh, boy. Have I ever F.U.B.A.R.'ed, more than my fair share. If that's all it takes to be damned, I pity those of you who don't see it coming. I know what I am. As a race, we tend toward denigrating, smug, self-righteous, and judgmental (human race, not some dumb-ass division, decided by something as dumb-ass the color of your 'tan'). All the things that God (Allah, Buddha, higher-flipping-power,...) hates. That seems to go doubly for 3/4 of the "religious." If you say "That's not me;" it is. The true "Meek" who shall inherit the Earth will never be assured, until they reap what they have truly sown; they won't ever bother to consider it- not once. If you are assured of your righteousness and rightness, you are SO screwed. I don't care what dumb-ass 'religion' you belong to, whose child you are, or what 'color' you are. Truth and faith have nothing to do with religion and everything to do with "true faith"- duh. Our few redeeming traits remain; our wanton and random humanities toward others; our (usually mutual) need to perform acts that we define as "our good samaritanship (good deed for the day)" and brag about, because it is, after all, a fashionable thing to do. We do have our moments of true nobility. Too bad we spend so much time touting ourselves for it, once We realize that it is good P.R. Hey rich jack-holes, try not advertising any of the good you do. Let those bastard paparazzo members earn their money and report some good for once! Hey, you who think donating to the S.P.C.A. once, and wear a shirt oh, so proudly, for the next couple of years, get a fricking grip! How about a real change? Like, in the WAY we think!?!